Hopeless
by dragongirl5302
Summary: Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and you have just been blinded. On top of that, your best friend, KK, has left you all alone. You haven't learned TZ's way of seeing yet, so things kind of suck. Oh and you're also flushed for the guy who blinded you. EriSol
1. Chapter 1: Denial

Hey, Alex here~ It's been a pretty long time since I've actually posted a story on fanfiction, but that's mostly because I've been busy with school and other things. Anyway, this is also the first Homestuck fanfiction that I've uploaded, so yeah. I hope you enjoy! This is from 2nd person point of view, with you being Sollux. This takes place after Sollux goes blind and Karkat runs off, leaving Sollux alone. This is fanfiction, so none of it is real, of course. The pairing is EriSol, which will become obvious during the course of the story. I only plan on it being 2 chapters long, by the way. So here it is, chapter 1.

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><p>Chapter 1: Denial<p>

You guess things could be worse. You could be alone on this meteor with no way to tell where you're going while a murderous tool that you may or may not have flushed feelings for is on the loose along with an insane murderous clown. Oh wait, you've just described your current situation. Fuck. It also doesn't help that you're now completely blind and KK abandoned you. But, it's okay. Everything will be fine. At least you don't have a lisp anymore and the voices of the imminently deceased have finally shut up. You can finally relax, if only a little bit. As you walk into ANOTHER wall and fall on your ass again, you find your pathetically fake optimism crumble. You just can't seem to continue being in denial about how everything is totally okay when your life is quickly falling to pieces. KK freaked out and ran away when he heard honking, leaving you alone. AA is dead. Eridan (or CA, as you usually call him) hates you and went insane, killing FF and Kanaya, along with blinding you. And yet you can't hate him. Quite the opposite, actually. As you're thinking these things, you're walking around this gigantic laboratory that you and your eleven other friends have been calling home ever since SGRUB ended.

You're snapped out of your somewhat morbid thoughts as you trip over something. You have no idea what it could be, but you take a moment to clear your head before you start using your sense of smell. That's how TZ sees, isn't it? Maybe it will work for you as well. The room smells strongly of fish and coffee, and your cardio vascular organ stops.

"CA?" You call out, helplessly.

You hear nothing but the sound of your own breathing. It is deathly quiet in this room, which scares you. Without thinking, you begin to touch what you tripped over before. You find yourself struggling for air as you feel his webbed fingers, which are cold as death. You refuse to believe that this could be Eridan, or that he is dead. That's impossible, you assure yourself. Though, you can feel doubt gnawing at your thinkpan as you continue to feel along his chest, to his ugly striped scarf and finally you touch along his face, feeling the fins on the sides of his head. You can also feel his stupid hipster glasses, along with that stupid butt chin of his that you and KK sometimes make fun of, when he comes up in conversation.

You would cry if it was possible, but you no longer have eyes, due to Eridan's 'white science.' Bull shit, it was magic, Eridan was just being a retard as always. He's not BREATHING and you're not fully sure you're still breathing either. You can feel your body go numb, and you can no longer feel anything. You're not able to comprehend this, not able to truly face the facts just yet.

When you finally stop being in denial, you numbly lean down and kiss him, trembling as you do so. You know it's no use, since all the dream selves are dead, but you do it anyway hoping for a miracle. You shift yourself, so that his head is in your lap and you just sit there, hoping that maybe you were wrong. Maybe he's not dead. Perhaps he's just asleep and you're just being a total fucking moron for even worrying. He'll wake up and snap at you for being such an idiot and then he'll wonder what happened to your eyes, because he never saw the results of what he did to you. Maybe it was only temporary insanity, and he won't attack you again. Maybe he's even SORRY for what he did. Maybe he won't join Bec Noir after all, won't truly betray you for the enemy. Maybe you've gone completely crazy from misery and you're just kidding yourself.

After what seems like eternity, you fall asleep, unconsciousness claiming you…

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><p>And that's it! Please leave comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts and also, if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know. Thanks for reading this! I'll have chapter 2 up as soon as possible.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: Dreams

Hey everyone! It's me, Alex, again~ Well, after about... what 3 weeks? I've finally finished the second chapter! Really the only reason it took this long is cuz I'm lazy and procrastinate and cuz of school. Anyway, this is the second and FINAL chapter of this story. Well, unless you guys really want me to continue it? Dunno, depends, I guess. Anyway, I don't really want to bore you with my talking, so without further adieu, here's chapter 2!

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><p>Chapter 2: Dreams<p>

When you come to your senses, you remember nothing of what happened in recent events. You feel disoriented and extremely fucking miserable. You can't figure out why though. Your thinkpan is buzzing with the voices of the imminently deceased, and because of that, you can feel a migraine coming on. This at first strikes you as odd. You shake your head, wondering why that would seem so foreign to you. You ALWAYS hear these voices, so it's nothing new.

You're suddenly jolted out of your thoughts by the sound of someone saying, "sol, are you evven listenin to me? coddamn you better not be ignorin me, you freak a nature." You immediately look at the tool that said that and your cardio vascular organ just STOPS. You can't fucking breath and you feel shitty mustard yellow tears gather in your eyes. You don't know why but relief floods you and the painful ache of misery disappears to be replaced by a happiness that just seems extremely weird, seeing as he just insulted you. He stares at you, disbelief clearly showing as you just smile at him like a complete dork. The tears are falling down your face and you could seriously care less. What the fuck is wrong with you?

This whole situation seems wrong. You're not supposed to be happy to see Eridan. He's a dick with a horrendous butt chin.

"sol wwhat the evverlivvin fuck are you cryin? god fuckin damn it. wwhy the fuck are you smilin an cryin at the same time, you bipolar asshole?" He looks confused though. Almost... worried? His words don't have the usual venom.

You pull off your red and blue shades before wiping the tears away, wondering what's going on. "2orry ii ju2t... fuck, ii dunno, iim ju2t really fuckiing happy riight now." Your explanation makes no sense, but you don't understand what's going on either, so explaining it is nearly impossible. You can't ignore the nagging feeling that this whole situation is just WRONG. This isn't how things are supposed to go. You were supposed to snark back at him. Your eyes widen as darkness eats away at your vision. As this occurs, you notice purple begin to bleed through Eridan's clothing, mostly the area around his waist. Your vision finally disappears. Memory comes flooding back to you, as well. You are numb once more. That is, until you hear Eridan again. He sounds quieter, almost uncertain about talking to you. "sol wwhat the fuckin hell happened to your eyes...?"

Your eyes would widen if you still had them. Instead, you just stare at the spot where you think Eridan is with your empty black eye sockets. Which, in retrospect, sounds creepy. "i... y0u did this, d0nt y0u remember CA?" There are no traces of snarkiness or venom in your voice. The denial of okayness has returned. Obviously none of this can be real, anyway. You vaguely remember falling asleep. Is this a dream? You feel the sudden urge to hug, or at least touch, Eridan. To make sure he's actually here.

The quiet has returned. Just the sound of breathing. The darkness, the uncertainty is absolutely maddening. You're not sure if you're alone, or if Eridan doesn't know how to respond.

You can't take it anymore. You step forward and reach out, making contact with one of Eridan's shoulders. You sigh as relief floods you, again. Eridan tenses, you can feel it, as you move closer. "sol i..." You can hear the apology in his voice, and you realize what he's basically going to say, even before he says it. You finally give into the urge that you've had since you first saw Eridan again. You hug him, muttering softly, "it's 0kay." You're not sure who you're talking to when you say that. You decide it was directed at both of you, not just Eridan.

You have a feeling that Eridan is just staring at you, at this point. He's probably confused and he has every right to be. He blinded you, killed Kanaya and Feferi, and yet you're not mad. Well, okay, that's not to say you're completely okay with everything that happened. You just mostly blame yourself for it. You should have been less of a douche, and then maybe he wouldn't have gone crazy. It also saddens you that he allowed his anger and jealousy to control him. But, you're not mad. At least not at him.

Eventually, Eridan pushes you away. He never hugged you back, not that you had ever expected him to. You hope he starts talking, at the very least, so that your paranoia of being alone doesn't strike again. As he begins to talk again, you notice the confusion in his voice. He mostly doesn't finish any of his questions, his voice fading out a few times before he resumes starting up questions that he'll never finish. "sol, wwhat…? wwhy arent you…? ugh fuck this is so confusin… sol wwhat the hell?"

You don't know what to say. Half of you just wants to tell him that you're flushed for him, but the other half argues that saying that would just confuse him more. So, you decide to explain things, before telling him your actual feelings about him.

Things are silent between the two of you for a while as you try to collect your thoughts and figure out how to explain things. For once, Eridan waits patiently… or maybe he just got bored and left. You hope it's the former. You look down, steeling yourself for however he will react to your stupidity, and begin to speak once again. "eridan i kn0w it's a little late tw0 be telling y0u this shit but… i never hated y0u. and FF wasn't my matesprite and just fuck. i tried tw0 hate y0u really cuz it seemed like the 0nly quadrant y0ud even c0nsider being in with me cuz y0u seemed tw0 really fucking hate me but i just c0uldnt. i mean sure y0u can be really ann0ying and bitchy s0metimes and i w0uld snark back cuz im just a d0uche in general but… i pitied y0u eridan. i c0uld see the pain 0f l0neliness and… i underst00d why y0u hit 0n every0ne. y0u were afraid 0f being al0ne and g0gdamn i really sh0uldve t0ld y0u s00ner like when y0u were alive but… im flushed f0r y0u eridan. i guess i was just scared tw0 tell y0u cuz i figured y0ud either reject me 0r 0nly say yes just tw0 fill a quadrant."

You really wish you could see Eridan so that you would know how he's reacting to this shit. But you can't. You can't see anything, and the fear of how Eridan is reacting is killing you. The silence pales in comparison to your fear of being rejected and left alone, yet again.

After a few moments of agonizing silence, he finally responds. "holy fuck. sol are you messin wwith me? real fuckin funny makin fun a the guy wwith the empty quadrants." There really isn't any acid to his voice though. You mostly hear disbelief and confusion in his tone of voice. You just sigh before responding, "w0w thanks eridan. i p0ur my cardi0 vasucular 0rgan 0ut and y0u think im making fun 0f you. im n0t that much 0f a d0uche."

"you sure about that? you seem like youd be enough of an asshole to do somethin like that sol. but… if you really mean it then im flushed for you too. an no im not just sayin that to fill a goddamn quadrant. i just… after fef dumped me i figured i wwas done wwith matesprites. it wwasnt wworth lovvin someone if i wwas just gonna get rejected. an… after a wwhile i fell for you. i enjoyed snarkin wwith you but… it felt like fef wwas takin you away from me. i had finally gotten over her an found someone else but she just had to get in the wway a thins. i thought she wwas your matesprite. i… im sorry sol. i wwas just tryin to get your attention earlier. i didnt mean to blind you."

You didn't know what you had been expecting from Eridan, but this definitely wasn't it. Holy shit. You can feel your face heat up, which means you're definitely blushing that shitty mustard yellow. "w0w 0kay. um… s0… d0 y0u want tw0 be matesprites? even th0ugh y0ure dead and im alive? th0ugh with h0w shit is g0ing right n0w ill pr0bably die s00n."

Eridan wraps his arms around your waist and you feel yourself blush even more. "sure ill be your matesprite sol. but you better not fuckin die. even if it means wwe cant spend a lot a time together i still dont wwant you to give up on livvin or anythin like that."

You sigh, "i d0nt see the p0int. im blind and useless. but 0kay." After saying this, you decide that now is a very good time to kiss Eridan. You tilt your head up, lean forward and… you fail horribly. Instead of getting his lips, you end up kissing him right on the neck gills. Fuck being blind. Anyway, after doing this major stupidity, you can not only hear Eridan laugh, you can also feel it due to how close you two are. After a moment or two, he stops laughing, and he must've leaned down, because the next thing you know, he's kissing you. You immediately begin kissing him back, not even bothering to be shocked. He tastes of a mixture between fish and coffee, which is exactly how he smells, as well.

Though, this bliss is sadly cut short when you hear a female voice call your name. "Sollux. Sollux. You Need To Wake Up." This causes you to pull away from Eridan, feeling somewhat dazed. Suddenly, you lose the feeling of Eridan's arms around you, to be replaced by the cold hard ground and dainty female hands shaking you. "Are You Awake, Sollux?" You recognize this girl's voice. It's Kanaya. Well, at least you aren't alone anymore, but you wish you could've spent more time in that dream bubble with Eridan. "yeah" you reply, as you get up.

"Alright Then. Come Along, We Need To Find The Others." You nod in response and she takes your hand, leading you through this maze of a laboratory that you and your friends have been calling home.

You decide that things may seem bleak at the moment, but everything will turn out okay. You have a reason to continue on with this bull shit, and obviously someone needs to make sure KK doesn't do something excessively stupid. Maybe when this game is truly over, all your deceased friends will come back to life. You decide that you are no longer in denial, and actually think that everything might just turn out okay. And hey, maybe things aren't so hopeless after all…

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><p>And that's it! I really hope you guys enjoyed the story~ :3<p> 


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